Author: PatagoniaLlami

There are two types of blonde people: those who get tanned and those who don’t.

(there are also the people who are not blonde or tanned but they try their luck at it anyway. To those people I ask, do you color your pubic hair for consistency? <——- not being sarcastic).

I had a friend once when I was little who had super blonde hair, the kind of blonde that had no dishwater color in it, only blonde. In the summer we would play by the river and by the end of one day her skin looked like it was kissed perfectly by the sun. A few weeks after that her skin was the color of a UPS truck and her hair was nearly platinum.

I, on the other hand was either ghost white from diligent sunscreen application or bright red, like the nose of mother effing Rudolph because I too wanted to be tanned and WHO GETS TANNED WHILE WEARING SPF 5000, I ask you???

Here’s the thing:

What is it with tanned blonde people?

They’re always the ones who do crazy cool shit like make sail boats by hand and sail around the world, build their own houses out of mud and empty wine bottles and drive cars that they have single-handedly engineered to run on trash. I’m pretty sure they sometimes hang out with Johnny Depp and Jeff Bridges and they for sure make their own hooch.

Also, now that I’m thinking about it, the cool tanned blondies always wear some type of rope / leather thing around their head and it looks damn good. If I wore a fucking rope around my head people would treat me really nice and hold the door for me because I look so “special”.

And feathers. Why the hell can tanned blondes sport dirty ass bird feathers and make it look like something out of a Free People catalog? I could never pull that shit off.

I may have the hair color, but I have never been tanned in my life (not even that one time when I used a tanning bed. Instead, I had red splotches on my skin for over a week because I was allergic to the oil that the lady firmly suggested I use. Something like that would NEVER happen to tanned blondes. I’m pretty sure that they don’t even fart and, if they do, it smells of peaches).

The recipe below is something that some cool tanned blonde person would probably come up with but I came up with it first, HA!

Make it, love it, comment about it, email me about it, share it with your friends.

Put it on burritos, top your baked potatoes, slather your nachos, spoon it on your chili, put it on whatever you would normally put sour cream on. —Bold Vegan // Molly Patrick

Directions

1. Place the cauliflower in a pan along with 1 cup of water and bring to a boil. Turn down heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Turn off heat, drain and set aside.
2. Drain the water from the cashews and place in a blender along with the cauliflower, apple cider vinegar, sea salt and water.
3. Blend for several minutes until the mixture is creamy and smooth.

Koshary is the second most popular street food in Egypt, second only to falafel. Popular cafeteria-style restaurants serve this dish in every neighborhood, in every city, town and municipality across the country.

What is Koshary?


Koshary is a layered dish full of carb-loaded dreams. It’s brown lentils and rice cooked in onion-flavored oil. Then, topped with pasta and generously bathed in a tangy, garlicky tomato sauce. This yummy combo is then covered in fried onions, chickpeas, and extra spice for those who can stand it.

The result? Garlicky, oniony, soft, crunchy, salty, vinegar-y incredible goodness that will have you filling your plate again and again. This dish is SO addictive, that Koshary joints offer a “kemala,” or second serving, regularly on their menus. Because no one eats just one plate.

While it uses, like 4 pots and pans, 2 colanders, and takes over the entire kitchen, this dish is vegan, vegetarian, and is budget-friendly. In fact, you can probably feed 8 people for less than $10! Try it, and you’ll be addicted, too.

Bel hana wel shefa (Arabic: enjoy it with happiness and good health)! —Hajar D.

Directions

1. Koshary
2. Begin by peeling the onions, cutting them in half and slicing them into thin half moons. Place in a colander over a plate and rub with 1 tablespoon of salt, allow salt to extract excess liquid for a few minutes.
3. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a deep frying pan on medium high heat.
4. Simultaneously, bring 3-4 cups of water and 1 tablespoon of salt to a boil in a medium non-stick pot. When the water boils, add the lentils (rinsed) and let boil for exactly 5 minutes, then strain in a colander and set aside. The lentils should still have some crunch.
5. When the frying oil is hot, fry the onions in batches until they are light brown. Sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of sugar per batch at this stage, stir. Once they reach medium brown, remove and place on a paper towel-lined plate. They will continue to cook and turn a darker shade of brown (See photos).
6. Cook pasta according to package directions in well-salted water. Drain and set aside, drizzling with olive oil and covering until ready to serve.
7. Remove around 1/2 cup of the oil used for frying the onions into the pot where the lentils were cooked, along with a sprinkling of fried onions. Add 3 cups of water and 1.5 teaspoons of salt. Cover and allow to come to a boil.
8. Add all of the lentils and 2 cups of rinsed medium grain rice. Stir well and cover, allow to come to a boil. This is the actual koshary 🙂
9. As soon as the koshary mixture boils, reduce heat to very low and allow to cook, covered, until all the liquid has been absorbed, about 15-20 minutes. Fluff with a fork and cover until ready to plate.

1. Tangy Garlic Tomato Sauce
2. In a (separate) medium saucepan, heat the oil on medium heat.
3. Add the garlic, stirring frequently until it turns a light golden color.
4. Add the can of tomato paste, stirring constantly. Continue to stir the paste, garlic, and oil until the tomato paste softens and separates a bit (about 2-3 minutes total).
   Add the vinegar (caution: it will splash).
5. Add the tomato sauce or diced tomatoes, and an additional 1 can full of water. Add salt, pepper, and cumin.
6. Stir to incorporate. Cover and allow to come to a boil.
7. Reduce heat to low. Simmer until the oil rises to the top, about 10-15 minutes. Adjust seasonings, if needed.
8. Now, it’s time to assemble your Koshary Plate:
   In a wide bowl, add a generous portion of Koshary.
   Top with cooked pasta.
   Spoon tangy tomato sauce over the pasta and koshary. Sprinkle with crunchy onions. Enjoy!

   Optional: add chickpeas and crushed red pepper flakes.
   

The ideal black bean burger strikes a balance between big-time flavor and not-mushy structure. There are many possibilities for seasoning your black bean base, from ground spices to zingy condiments, but ultimately you want a savory patty that can easily hold together inside a bun. Add too much of a wet ingredient, or over-process your bean mixture, and you’re likely to end up with a very tasty black bean dip (not a bad thing, but not what we’re going for).

While some bean burgers go straight from can to patty, this recipe includes the extra step of toasting the beans in the oven. (That said, it doesn’t include any extra prep time because, while those are baking, you can start on the other ingredients, like soaking the oats.) I do this to dry out the beans a bit, allowing me to introduce more flavor by way of Worcestershire, mayo, and hot sauce, without turning the mixture into a soggy mess. Also in the interest of flavor, I don’t rinse the beans of their brining liquid. After they’re out of the oven, I recommend simply mashing your beans by hand. No need to lug out special equipment—you just need two bowls and a fork.

The generous amount of Worcestershire sauce adds lots of umami to these veggie burgers. If you’re serving them to vegetarian or vegan eaters, make sure to seek out a Worcestershire sauce that doesn’t include anchovies. If you only have rolled oats—not quick ones—you can break them down by hand, then measure out ⅔ cup from there. This makes them all the better at binding the burgers.

This recipe can easily be doubled to make 8 smaller or 6 larger sized burgers. Both cooked and uncooked patties store well in the freezer. —Allison Bruns Buford

Directions

1. Heat the oven to 350°F.
2. Drain the beans and spread them out on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes, giving them a shake about halfway through.
3. While the beans are in the oven, put the quick oats into a small bowl and use your hands to break them down a bit further. Add the egg, Worcestershire, mayo, and hot sauce. Stir and set aside to let the oats soak up some of that moisture.
4. Turn your attention to the onion: Finely dice about a quarter of the onion, or 2 tablespoons worth. If you wish, you can slice some of the remaining onion to use as a topping for your burger.
5. Once the beans are out of the oven, transfer them to a large bowl. Sprinkle them with the chili powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika, and salt. Mash with a fork, making sure to leave the mixture a little chunky. Add the oat mixture to the beans, and stir to incorporate. Once everything is pretty well combined, gently stir in the diced onion.
6. To form the patties, you can use a 1/3 cup measure to make four equal portions. These smaller, 3 ounce burgers are the perfect fit for an English muffin (my preferred lunch size portion). If you are craving a bigger burger, use a 1/2 cup measure for the standard quarter-pound patty. Either way, using wet hands to form the patties helps.
7. While these black bean burgers were designed to hold up well on a grill, the skillet method is foolproof. Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in a 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium-high. Cook the first side for about 4 minutes, or until the bottom is browned and has formed a nice crust. Flip the patties over, lay a slice of cheese on top (optional, though highly recommended) and cook for another 4 minutes. Remove from the skillet and rest on a towel-lined plate to blot any excess oil.
8. Sandwich between your bun of choice, with any toppings you’d like.

This is one of my husband’s favorite soups. He starts requesting this as soon as fall arrives. It also received rave reviews from my trusty taste testers at the hospital where I work. Even the people who don’t like spicy food liked it. It’s a recipe makeover and slight departure from the more traditional bisque made with heavy cream and butter. It’s healthier than traditional bisque but you’d never know it by the taste and texture.

It’s a rich and special soup suitable for holiday entertaining. But it’s not too heavy because it’s made without any butter or cream. Just a half a can of coconut milk is all that’s needed to give the soup a luxurious texture. It would be a great choice for a first course at Thanksgiving or on a vegan Thanksgiving menu. You can make it the day before or even the morning of the meal. It reheats well.

Rapunzel No Salt Vegetable Bouillon Cubes are my go-to choice for all my vegetable soups. This bouillon creates a broth that has a pure clean, fresh taste. I buy it by the case from amazon. You can also find it select Whole Foods supermarkets. Visit my blog Jilly Inspired for the original recipe. —Jilly Inspired

Directions

1. Place the sliced pepper, cut side down, on an oven safe baking sheet lined with tinfoil and broil on high until the skins are charred and blackened. Remove from the oven, place the pepper in a covered bowl or wrap in tin foil to steam. Once cool enough to handle, peel the skin and discard. Chop and set aside.
   
2. In a large pot saute the onion and chili in some coconut oil or neutral tasting oil with a pinch of salt. Once the onion has softened, add the chopped sweet potatoes, roasted red pepper, grated ginger, 6 cups of water, 6 Rapunzel cubes and the cinnamon. Adjust the salt. Cover, bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until the sweet potatoes have softened. Puree with an immersion blender or in a food processor or blender (be careful if using a blender or food processor with hot soup). Stir in the coconut milk. Start with just a half a can and add more to your liking. Finish the soup with a good dash of cinnamon, a little lime zest, lime juice and Thai basil. Toasted pumpkin seeds are also nice sprinkled on top. Enjoy!

These ultra-light, whole-grain muffins are perfect for people who think they don’t have time to make muffins. In fact, they whisk together in about 5 minutes, and bake in about 10—all thanks to a boost from a joyful ingredient I’d never thought to use in baking. Thank goodness Jerrelle Guy did.

Jerrelle writes in her cookbook Black Girl Baking , “I’m obsessed with kombucha, the fermented tea drink. I drink it like I used to drink soda as a kid: at least once a day. I crave the feeling of that cold, carbonated liquid hitting my chest, giving me the sensation it’s opening my lungs for the first time that day…it’s addicting. I love watching the agitated bubbles rise to the lip of the bottle, too. I can tell it’s going to be a gusher when the cap is bulging before I even open the bottle. I thought I could use the carbonation and acid to make some kind of quick bread or breakfast muffin. So this is my tea-twist on the Irish soda bread I come across so often here in Boston.”

Note: If you are sensitive to the taste of baking soda, you can reduce the baking soda to 2 teaspoons—the muffins will still be fluffy, just not quite as fluffy. If you choose honey, the warm, sweet flavor of honey will come through most prominently. If you use agave, the flavor will be more neutral and you may be able to taste the baking soda more—a flavor I don’t mind at all (think: pretzels!), but some people are more sensitive to. Whatever size your muffin cups are, don’t fill them much more than three-quarters full, and adjust the baking time accordingly. (For example, in my small muffin cups, I got 23 muffins and they baked in under 10 minutes.) Jerrelle notes that, to make these muffins vegan, you can use melted dairy-free butter or a neutral oil like grapeseed, safflower, sunflower, or canola oil, and use the agave option rather than the honey.

Recipe adapted very slightly from Black Girl Baking (Page Street Publishing, February 2018).

This post contains products independently chosen (and loved) by our editors and writers. As an Amazon Associate, Food52 earns an affiliate commission on qualifying purchases of the products we link to.

For more stories, recipe ideas, and tips from the geniuses themselves, tune into our podcast The Genius Recipe Tapes. —Genius Recipes

Directions

1. Heat the oven to 425°F (220°C or gas mark 7). Oil the wells of a muffin tin and have it nearby.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Pour the melted butter and agave over the dry ingredients, and then pour in the kombucha. Whisk the mixture until just combined. Don’t mix beyond this point or your muffins will be tough.
3. Immediately scoop the mixture into the muffin wells, and bake in the oven for 5 minutes. Then reduce the oven temperature to 375°F (190°C or gas mark 5) and finish cooking for another 8 to 10 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean. The initial high heat of the oven will make sure the muffins pop out over the edges of the pan. Remove from the oven and allow to cool slightly. Serve warm with more softened butter, if you like.

I’m a California woman cooking in Montana. I use what I have, given the seasons. We’re in one of the “shoulder” seasons right now. Tomatoes are done, though some green ones are still to be had. The winter squash are coming in, and heaven knows, pumpkins are everywhere. I went to culinary school with a woman who put pumpkin in everything she could catch. It still makes me shiver. But mushrooms in any form speak to me of fall.

I had 2 sources of inspiration for this: my Lost Shoes Risotto and Pierino’s pasta: http://www.food52.com/recipes…. For the former, a dream told me to soak dried porcini mushrooms in hot water to create the stock with which to make the risotto: http://www.food52.com/recipes…. In the latter, pierino cooks his pasta in the same water in which he cooked his lobster, then adds a creamy sauce to it. It’s such an ethereal step that for all I know, it came to him in a dream also.

Call it 2 1/2 sources. I also used a bit of Harold McGee’s less is more method of cooking the pasta: http://www.nytimes.com…, though I don’t buy the cold start method, and don’t understand why he sticks to his story after Marcella Hazan and Lidia Bastianich gave it the cold shoulder. If those ladies told me how to comb my hair, I’d listen.

But I digress. Because of the relatively small amount of cooking liquid, a shaped pasta is going to work better than a long one. I used trottole (photo #2) because of all of its sauce-napping curls and folds, but use what you like.

To make it vegan, substitute olive oil for the butters, omit the cheese, and increase the stock. Cheers!


—boulangere

Directions

1. Pour 4 cups of boiled water over mushrooms and the smashed cloves of garlic in a glass or stainless bowl. Set a plate on top to trap the heat. Let sit for 30 minutes. The water will turn to a heady, deep brown stock redolent of the smoky mushrooms and the garlic.
   
2. While mushrooms are soaking, pour a glass of wine or make a cup of tea. Sit down and enjoy a quiet half hour with the newspaper or a book. Promise me you won’t turn on the TV.
   
3. Set a strainer over a saucepan, and strain off the stock from the mushrooms. Remove the garlic cloves and mince them. Leave the stock in the saucepan. Roughly chop the mushrooms.
   
4. Melt butter in a pan large enough to contain the sauce and cooked pasta. Add the leeks, garlic, and red pepper flakes and sauté until soft and fragrant. Add the mushrooms, then the white wine. When about two thirds of the wine has reduced away, add the cream. Reduce heat to a low simmer, and begin heating the mushroom stock to cook the pasta.
   
5. When stock comes to a boil, add the pasta. Cover the pot and cook to more al than dente, probably a minute or two less than the suggested cook time on the package. With a spider or a slotted spoon, scoop pasta from the stock to the pan holding the sauce. Add the ounce of butter and the Parmesan cheese. Ladle in enough of the mushroom stock to loosen the sauce and allow it to nicely nap the pasta. While it’s cooking for a minute or two, season to taste with salt and pepper. You know how to dish it up. Revel in the fall-like color of the pasta and its rich, creamy goodness. Enjoy the fusion of food52.